I Wish I Was The Moon oneshot
by AnneBoleynsGoldenWorld
Summary: At the end of Kent Clark Luthor was never sent to the Fortress and "redeemed" but he did have the conversation with Clark. Oliver is still dead. Clark reflects on his time with Lois Lane, and Lois Lane reflects on her time with Clark Kent and future w/ CL


**Title:** I Wish I Was The Moon (one-shot)

**Pairing:** AU Lois/Clark Luthor

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre:** Drama/Angst

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**Summary: **At the end of _Kent_ Clark Luthor was never sent to the Fortress and "redeemed" but he did have the conversation with Clark. Oliver is still dead. Clark reflects on his time with Lois Lane, and Lois Lane reflects on her time with Clark Kent

**AN:** Okay so any True Blood fan will recognize the title of this story. After last nights episode I fell in love with the song by Neko Case that was used at the end of the episode. It inspired me to write this=]

I'd definitely say listen to the song while reading: /gCV-YMD6oXA

**I Wish I Was The Moon**

_**Chimney falls and lovers blaze**_

_**Thought that I was young**_

_**Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins**_

_**As numb as I've become**_

The mansion was cold and dark, the moon's translucent rays the only thing illuminating the countless hallways and rooms laying in vacancy. Clark Luthor sat at his desk with a class of whiskey in his hand staring out the window. He wasn't sure when the amber liquid last touched his lips, he was more content swirling it around the crystal absentmindedly. He'd only been back in this world a few hours and it was the last place he had wanted to be. The other world had so much potential, so many lives to take in anonymity, what he'd said to _that_ Lois was true he was going to like it there. But did he want to walk down the same path with a clean slate? Obviously how he lived his life in this world didn't work out so well, what with everyone wanting him dead.

Ever since he had returned _she_ was all he could think about. He hadn't the vaguest idea why since the Lois in this world couldn't stand him and when met with that hostility he had quickly reverted to treating her harshly. Sure she was beautiful, but there were easier women that were just as beautiful as she was. Of course this Lois also carried around chunks of the one thing that could kill him with her at all times since he was revealed as Ultraman, who would want a woman like that? But her, the other Clark's Lois, she had looked at him with something he was not used to: love. She treated him as an equal a partner, if Luthor was being honest he didn't see the appeal in that, why would a man of God like caliber like himself want to feel equal to a human. But he did see the appeal in her love and it stirred something inside of him, a possessive feeling, a feeling he hadn't felt in so long he wasn't even sure how he had placed it. That feeling frightened him, another feeling he was not used to, and that's why he was in such a rush to leave the apartment she had called their own. He needed to calm those dangerous feelings and rushed off to torment his lovely sister Tess, never seeing Lois again.

_**I'm so tired**_

_**I wish I was the moon tonight**_

And now he was back in his own world, alone and hiding from everyone who knew his true identity and their glowing green rocks. It wasn't much of a life, and he had just lost his one chance at a new start. With a huff Clark pushed his desk chair back and with the veil of the night covering him he exited the doors of the mansion.

_**Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name**_

_**'Cause I had sold my soul but awoke just the same**_

_**I'm so lonely**_

_**I wish I was the moon tonight **_

Lois Queen sat on the back patio of her penthouse home, the home she had once shared with her husband of one week Oliver Queen. He was a good man, he just wanted to save the world from injustice. Oliver was racked with insecurity though, he constantly questioned if he was worthy of Lois, if he was honest Lois had asked herself the same question, but was always there to sooth his doubtful thoughts. Oliver was her best friend, their biggest secrets were kept by the other, and they both fought to make the world a better place however they could. Oliver obviously had a more proactive way to saving the world, while Lois was stuck at the Daily Planet trying to get any article she could past her boss Clark Luthor.

Clark Luthor. The name alone sent chills down her spine, he was single handedly the biggest abomination of a man she had ever encountered in her life, actually no he wasn't even a man. No man could ever do the things he did and be okay with it. Clark Luthor cared about no one but himself, and she was sure he never would.

But… how could his doppelganger make her heart race? _I can't live in a world where you don't love me_ he had said to her the first time she met him on that rooftop. No one had ever said anything so heartfelt to her, not even her fiancé. Clark Kent was everything she had ever wanted in a partner, ever since she had first met him he was all she could think about, even on her own wedding day which made her feel a guilt she had never experienced before.

If Lois was being honest with herself she was actually jealous of _his_ Lois, the ally, the partner, the love of his life. She knew that was something she would never experience in this life, her husband had been ripped from her after a week of marriage by the monster that had shared a face with the man she found herself dreaming about at night. Lois sighed and reached for her bottle of beer, she brought the bottle up to her lips and took a hearty drink. She needed to forget about him, he was gone. Lois glanced up to the moon begging for answers.

_**God blessed me, I'm a free man**_

_**With no place free to go**_

_**I'm paralyzed and collared-tight**_

_**No pills for what I fear**_

Clark walked the city in his long black coat, the collar stood up to shade his face in darkness not wanting to risk being noticed thanks to the luminance of a street light. He had to limit his time in public to nighttime ventures where the dark could shadow him from citizens wanting to avenge their lovers deaths or just be the infamous person to take out the world's terrorist Ultraman.

He found himself at the Daily Planet, he glanced up at the rusting gold planet rotating high above the city and turned around looking up to a penthouse apartment and its loft which was dark. Clark dodged into an alley and quickly lifted into the sky. One of the only benefits of being Ultraman since Queen had exposed his true identity was his ability to fly. He found himself flying constantly, high above the clouds, on the cusp of the earth. Flying always had cleared his thoughts ever since he was a young boy wanting to get away from his father only to be lashed with kryptonite when he returned home. Sure Clark had made decisions to end up where he was, _how_ he was, but having Lionel Luthor as a father definitely aided him in his journey.

Clark touched down on the roof of the Daily Planet, the side facing the clock tower. His eyes widened slightly when he was her sitting out on the darkened balcony with her head tilted up towards the glowing moon.

_**This is crazy**_

_**I wish I was the moon tonight **_

Could someone change their ways? Lois asked herself. How could two people who on the outside look exactly alike be so different on the inside? Did one make a wrong choice and everything snowballed from there? Were the both inherently evil and one made a conscious effort everyday to do the right thing? Or was the ability for goodness in the monster and he just needed the right person to bring it out of him?

_**Chimney falls and lovers blaze**_

_**Thought that I was young**_

_**Now I've freezing hands & bloodless veins**_

_**As numb as I've become**_

Lois couldn't answer why she found herself wanting to help someone like Clark Luthor, or Ultraman. Well, yes she did _because he could be a hero, make the world a better place._ But had the damage already been done? Could Luthor be redeemed for all the dreadful deeds he had done? Did he even want to be redeemed?

The thoughts alone were giving her a headache. Lois shook her head, her dark cropped auburn locks brushing her shoulders. She finished her beer and placed it on the table next to her.

_**I'm so tired,**_

_**I wish I was the moon tonight **_

_Could I be like him?_ Clark asked himself. _No, I could never be Clark Kent. But maybe, just maybe I could be everything my father wasn't._ Lionel wasn't in this world anymore and hopefully would never come back.

The cool air brushed his shaggy hair off his face as he looked at the woman who had loved him in another world. Could she make him a better person in this one? Could she somehow forgive him for what he had done? Did he even want to be redeemed? He had dug his grave in this world, was it time to lie in it? No. Luthor's do not give up, and for better or worse he was a Luthor. As much of a stain as the name was, it was his cross to bear and he wasn't one to back down from a challenge. He vowed before the stars and the moon at that moment that even if it killed him he would deny his father everything he wanted his son to be from that moment on, he would be his own man. And while he knew he would never be the hero Clark Kent was, perhaps he could be a hero fit for this much darker reality.

Clark pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket and opened his address book scrolling down to the names in "L." He highlighted Lois' name and hovered his finger over the call button. Clark lifted his head and glanced across the street to the woman sitting on the balcony of her own apartment.

_**How will you know if you found me at last?**_

_**'Cause I'll be the one, be the one, be the one**_

_**With my heart in my lap **_

He watched as she stood up and turned her back to him. She gracefully walked to the French doors of the balcony and pulled them open. The white curtains flowed with the wind as it entered the room, flowing around her like a sheet. When she finally closed the door the curtains rested and she was gone from his natural sight.

Clark looked down at his phone, his thumb still hovering over the button, a button that could possibly change his life. The screen faded to black and he shook his hand placing the phone in his back pocket. "Not tonight." He said softly before casting one more glance toward her room which was dark and still. With that he glanced up to the clear sky filled with stars accompanying the moon and lifted off effortlessly into the air.

_**I'm so tired**_

_**I'm so tired**_

_**And I wish I was the moon tonight**_

**So what did you think? Did you like it? Hate it? I haven't written anything since my last fic so I know I may be a little rusty. A few people had asked me to do a Clark Luthor story and I thought this song really fit with Clark Luthor. Please leave me some feedback333**


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